Balance

bal·ance | \ˈba-lən(t)s : equipoise between contrasting, opposing, or interacting elements… the balance we strike between security and freedom.— Earl Warren (www.merriam-webster.com)

I recently did some private Ayurveda study with Ayurveda Wellness Educator, Tierney Farry. She spoke about the importance of keeping the doshas in balance. When I began to look at what was in and out of balance in my life, not only at my doshas, I decided to trace back where things started to go south.

I was fairly balanced in most physical aspects of my life, when 2018 began. My emotions were in chaos, but I was in a physically balanced (ate well, exercised) state. However, in mid-2018, when I started to shift the focus to my emotional well-being, the challenge of finding the mental space to stay committed to a routine was overwhelming (dealing with all the emotional changes made my eating erratic and unplanned). I got into an unbalanced work situation, and things went awry.

I was given an opportunity that I couldn’t refuse, a job that helped me get a solid understanding of who I was, and the work that I could confidently do; that felt really good. I was so in the flow. After a while, however, I was asked to do more, and then still more. I was giving more than I was getting, and I felt really undervalued. It took a toll. I was sleeping less, eating more, spiraling out of control.

Vata had gone completely out of balance.

It wasn’t until just this week, as I began to reflect on what went wrong (and where the extra 12 or so pounds came from… even looking back at spring and summer photos to see where it all shifted), that I realized what had happened and it all made sense.

I’d given myself away.

I am aware, however, that I am the queen of my own kingdom, and have decided to make it my job to come back, wholly, to myself. I’ll be bringing some yang back to my practice, returning to a more rigorous yoga flow, and will be going back to weight lifting. I’ll have a more structured sleep and rise time, and hold myself accountable. I know that it feels good to feel good.

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As I look at my calendar, I can see, week by week, what I am doing. I have a lot going on. I am thrilled for it all, because the energy exchange is aligned, and I love and value the work that I do and the professional relationships that I’ve chosen. I’ve also made a plan that I will allow me to keep the flow positive and strong.

I’ve decided that May through August, I will limit my schedule, allowing myself space to look inward and travel. (I’ve already planned a trip to Joshua Tree.) I will be teaching my usual Mind Body Melt classes (even adding one at a nearby studio) and my Rebellious Spirit flow class that I’ve been planning since September. Of course, I will continue to offer a small handful of breathwork circles (based, mostly, around the moon), during this time. It will give me a chance to regroup, relax and dig deeper into my own self-discovery.

The new year is a fresh start to create boundaries and allow big dreams to expand and become actualized. I am continuing to vibrate at a place of health, joy and abundance. It took that mirror, the one that Farry unknowingly held before me, to make me aware that the time to shift was today.

Do you ever feel out of balance? Do you even know if you are in balance? We don’t always think about this stuff, do we? I invite you to pause and look at your operating system and see what’s holding true for you. xox